Ego Obliteration

I feel that everyone can use a good ego obliteration every once in awhile.

Sometimes I just want to leave society and go live with an indigenous tribe to learn with a Shaman.  While I know it is not always a realistic desire, the desire to run away is because I sometimes get sick of listening to my own ego at work.  I am my own worst critic, no doubt.

It was all quieter in Peru.  I didn’t truly notice it until I returned home, but my ego was close to silent while in Peru.  My ego and inner critic was the closest to silent I could remember it having been in the longest time, and, well, as silent as an ego is ever really going to get, I suppose

Traveling in this environment that was so foreign to me, I did not have anyone to impress, little to no expectations of myself – I was simply holding the intention to live moment to moment, exploring Pachamama’s beauty and utter magnificence.  I did not have tasks to complete while I was there in terms of things like housework or job related duties.  All I really had to concern myself with was cleaning my body as I saw fit and feeding myself when I was hungry.  Even then, all meals were prepared for us there so one less task I was distracted with.  Some days I chose to hardly eat anything, while other days I feasted.  Some days I didn’t shower at all, while others I rinsed off several times per day.  It felt liberating to be unattached to a schedule.

While some structure in my normal day to day life at home usually feels productive and comfortable, the break from it all felt so good.  The lack of things to concern myself with aside from my spiritual growth and the exploration of the physical plane we were doing in Peru contributed to my ability to move my focus from being so mind oriented to being more heart centered.

It was a truly care-free journey I had in Peru.  I traveled there to intentionally have my ego obliterated, learning in pure reverence and admiration of all the teachings that this sacred part of the earth has to offer.

As I mentioned, I didn’t really realize until I returned home from our adventure that my ego had been on as much of a vacation as I was.  It was getting back into my day to day flow at home, that I realized how unattached from self-judgement, ridicule, and negative thought processes I had been.  Bliss!  Perhaps this goes for all, as I know each of us has a small (or large) inner critic within the confines of our mind – But I feel as though my intense Scorpionic nature supports my being prone to judging myself frequently and consistently, as Scorpios can be quite dark by nature   I suppose it is all just a process, like anything, in learning, remembering (and sometimes forgetting) to make space for more peace of mind.  In summary, this lack of ego was revelatory for me.

The enamoring beauty of Peru and my deep inner personal work had taken my focus throughout my journey.  It has been a beautiful and inspiring reflection since I returned home, observing what kind of energy has the power to quiet the ego in such a profound and clear way for me.  In this experience, it was the energy of humbleness, receptivity and the desire to dive deep within myself that seemed to grant me such a break from my ego.

The lesson I have taken from all of this feels like it is to bring that powerful energy of reverence and openness into my day to day life on a more frequent

and regular basis.  For me, this looks like doing my very best to drop out of my critical mind and down into my heart in order to receive and appreciate all that I create in my life with gratitude.  For me, this also looks like trusting my power and intuition…  Straight up loving myself, unconditionally.  It is also remembering to give myself a break from the structure and personal ridicule, just to simply bask in the embrace of Pachamama.  That kind of attitude also makes for a way happier Ali who is much more fun to be around, anyway

I suppose I won’t always need a vacation to honor all of this within and without myself, though in this instance, the traveling in such openness was the catalyst for this remembering.  I am grateful that this understanding came to me on such a potent and pivotal journey in my life.