Sweat to Release

Today, I feel compelled to share some rather personal writings, which I would normally keep to myself. The following flowed through me after the first sweat lodge I have ever took part in, a few weekends ago. The sweat lodge was done in traditional Lakota ceremony, led by a Sister of Lakota lineage. It was a potent experience for me, both physically and emotionally. My body was renewed and my emotions re-charged. Aho.

Sweat to Release

The drum beat of my heart echoes melodically within my body, flowing out through my ears. A symphony of repetitive noise ~ Can an organ inside of me really create this much sound? The chance of my Heart bursting through my chest at this moment, is nothing short of possible. As my mind spins further out of control, I am able to take the reigns of it at the same time. My emotions step up to the plate to govern my thoughts. My sanity may have exited the structure when my clothes did, but my consciousness is more present than ever.

. . . Dun Dun . . . Dun Dun . . . Dun Dun . . .

The heat is so unbearable that I can bare it. I am living through this? I AM living through this ~ This painful, yet ecstatic experience. My strength and will take their natural place, in a far from ego driven manner ~ Not to honor a false desire for independence this time, which is a change… I am here to experience and to go deep ~ Journey through my soul and the souls of my surrounding Sisters. Simply enough ~ It is brute will, love, and gratitude that is carrying me through these Heaven and Hell polarities.

My mind calms, some.

So, I sit.

I am a creature of the Earth ~ A Daughter of the Earth ~ Pouring forth condensation from my body, in a way I never imagined. Sweat; Crystalline beads decorate my naked body, as I sit, positioned cross legged in front of my Ancestors. My body’s perspiration is my offering to them ~ The droplets are an embodiment of the emotions I am releasing in that moment. All of the grief, pain, loneliness, sorrow, anger, hurt ~ Those not of service are gone ~ Exiting my soul to be taken away by my Ancestors.

To All My Relations…

I pray.

I hold my meditative space to remain calm while in ceremony, which becomes a state of ease, as my prayers spill forth from the depths of my gut. I give thanks for such a blessed, blessed, abundant reality. What an honor it is to walk my path. To be held in Gaia’s embrace ~ Walking on her abundant body, swept away in the breezes of her mystery, enlivened by her firey spirit, and cleansed by her gentle waters. What a gift to be mirrored by such Divine beings that surround me ~ Aligned with my twin Soul in this paradigm ~ Compassionately loved by the most extraordinary friends ever ~ Birthed into a beautiful lineage. I pray for abundance to all my loved ones, and myself ~ In ALL-ways. For the highest alignment with my Divine Soul Purpose, in complete Service.

Ahomataquiase.

So, we smoke. We sweat. We give our thanks ~ Our prayers lifted up by our ancestors, rising with the heat and the steam from the rocks… Up to the Heavens.

Sisters praying together; Naked Priestesses ~ Sitting in circle as it all began ~ Changing the world with our manifestations. What potency! We are nourished.

Ahomataquiase.

The Primal Tonic

Deer/elk antler velvet has been a tonic mainstay among Traditional Chinese Medicine for thousands of years. The part of the antler that is used is the soft velvet inside of the antler, before it reaches full development and calcifies. This is a sustainable practice when done properly, not harming the animal in anyway. Antler velvet is most commonly extracted via alcohol, in the form of a tincture. It is the primal endurance tonic; It is not toxic in any dosage, and can be taken as much as needed and/or desired. It is the superior remedy for promoting endurance, stamina, strength, regeneration, and sexual function. It combats stress and fatigue.

To the left, is a close up shot of a bull elk when it is in velvet. You can see the fine, soft looking hairs that are covering its antlers.

When I say regeneration, I mean it: It actually regenerates your system, on a cellular level. It is a natural source of the growth hormone, IGF-1 – Thus, it stimulates growth hormones in the pituitary gland. This process builds your bones, muscles, and nerves while reducing body fat and increasing your lean body mass. Consider how common bone disease and dysfunction is among the elderly; Antler velvet prevents and battles this degeneration. How about senility that takes place in humans as we age? Antler velvet is an MAO-enzyme inhibitor. MAO-enzymes break down certain neurotransmitters in the brain such as serotonin, dopamine, and norepinephrine; Vital neurotransmitters to our health and happiness. MAO activity increases throughout the aging process. Antler velvet stops this process from taking place, through inhibiting these enzymes. It assists in the production of more red blood cells, which oxygenate your muscles. This provides an alarmingly rapid ability to build and recover muscles. In my experience, my muscle mass began an upward increase immediately after beginning daily use of velvet. Strength-wise, I experienced immediate results after using velvet. While engaging in daily exercise, my muscle mass increased rapidly, while having long-lasting energy to burn all day long.

It also increases the production of white blood cells, which are essential to maintaining an properly functioning immune system. I rarely experience illness, and when symptoms do surface, I fight them off basically overnight. This proves my immune system is strong and resilient, from the help of the velvet extract. Antler velvet establishes a thriving immune function in your body! Not only does it act like a warrior working side by side with your immune system, it completely re-builds your system!

I generally hear of velvet being highly regarded as a tonic for men. Well, through my research and experience, I have found it to be just as beneficial for Women! Studies have shown that velvet treats menstrual issues and alleviates menopausal symptoms. This makes sense, because we tent to experience cramping and pain around our cycles. Velvet is known to treat muscle and joint pain, and the cramping we feel is happening in our uterine musculature. I always had severe cramping before my cycle. Some months it would be so bad I would throw up, feeling like I couldn’t move without being overcome by nausea. I went without my cycle for an extended time, even while I was using velvet, but when it regulated once again, my physical pains around my cycle were completely gone! No cramps, much less bloating, no more headaches or depression. The velvet obviously went to work on the muscles of my pelvis, for that is where the cramping is coming from. Velvet is strung with the powerful IGF growth hormones, which help to balance the endocrine system. When our hormones are balanced, we experience regular menstrual cycles. Depression is common in PMS, along with pre-menopause. Because velvet is an MAO-inhibitor as I stated before, it maintains and stimulates a healthy production of our neurotransmitters which prevents depression and actually increases our happiness! Perhaps velvet should be considered as a hormonal remedy, rather than the Western medical approach of hormone replacement therapy…

If we have an optimally function endocrine system, we will have a healthy sexual interest. Velvet has been known to increase the libido and even the size of the sex organs in Women and men. Tests have been done where the females uterus and ovaries increased in weight, after using velvet extract! I never had sexual dreams, my whole life. Women and men always shared theirs with me, and I thought the concept of them to be odd. Now, after using velvet for quite some time, I frequently have sex-involved dreams, waking up with a heightened sexual awareness and libido, in general. My sex drive has also sky rocketed. The more my hormones come into a state of balance, the higher my interest in sex is and the better the sex that I have, actually is! I believe velvet to have the effect of tuning us into our sexual needs and desires, allowing us to achieve a higher state of pleasure.

For thousands of years, velvet has been prescribed to Women in China if they were experiencing infertility. It increases fertility through its balancing effect on our hormones and ensures the health of mother and baby. Studies have shown that deer antler velvet helps to increase lactation in breast-feeding mothers, while rejuvenating her overall health after giving birth.

I have been using deer antler velvet extract, produced by my friends cutting-edge company SurThrival, for almost a year now. After incorporating velvet into my daily use, I feel as though my body has transformed. Of course, other healing forms of nourishment have aiding in the transformation, but not many other things have the rebuilding and regenerating powers like velvet does. The shape of my musculature is massively different than it was before I began using velvet. I am physically strong and durable. My immune system is a powerhouse, fighting the excess of free radicals in our environment, ruthlessly. My hormones continue to rebalance, providing a regular menstrual cycle, moods of ecstasy, and a healthy sex drive. I continually see changes and developments taking place in my body, physical and spiritual!

We are constantly being drowned in toxic chemicals that have polluted our environment, which attack our immunity, hormone balance, and general strength. Antler velvet has the ability to combat this external toxins, while rebuilding us at the very same time! I believe deer antler velvet extract is a profound tool to incorporate into any person’s health strategy.

For further information on deer antler velvet and to get ahold of the highest-quality product on the market today, visit the link to SurThrival at the bottom of this page, where you can find the world’s cutting edge, high integrity company, with the best quality velvet on the market!

Skin Re-Visited, pt. 2

What wound up being my challenge was a culmination of a couple conditions. For one, my hormones were severely out of balance due to the lack of fat I was consuming while eating strictly raw food. Hormones are fat soluble and our bodies require the consumption of high-quality fats in order to facilitate their production. On top of that, I found that I had been over-run with candidiasis, also known as candida.

Candida is a yeast-like fungi which naturally inhabits our digestive tract, and generally lives in balance with our fauna (animal like organisms) and flora (plant like organisms), assuming our digestive health is fully functional. Candidiasis is a very common condition and results from a disruption in our intestinal bacteria ~ The balance of our fauna and flora being upset (one or the other begins to dominate.) When this happens, our naturally occurring candida begin to replicate to rapidly and basically take over, leading to a variety of health issues ~ Such as acne, which occurred for me. People with weak immune systems are highly susceptible to Candidiasis. Candida is supposed to be helpful yeast, and remains benign until our beneficial bacteria (fauna and flora) are suppressed. At this point, the candida become aggressive fungi. Basically, Candidiasis is caused by the destruction of our beneficial bacteria. This can happen through the use of antibiotics (this includes birth control!), genetic immune dysfunction, thymus tumors, hormonal imbalances, etc. Candida also thrive on sugar, so the over consumption of sugar will feed the general condition of Candidiasis.

So, it all became clear to me. I was suffering from two things: a severe hormone imbalance which led to the Candidiasis. My gut was stripped of its beneficial bacteria from the excess of cellulose in all of the plant food. Our hormones are secreted into our intestinal system from our endocrine system, and when our gut is lacking the correct probiotics for our bacteria to thrive on, and insufficient fat to facilitate our hormone production, thus results challenges like Candidiasis.

Another side note ~ I was also consuming excessive sugar ~ Not refined sugar, of course ~ But natural sweeteners like agave, maple syrup, honey, etc. due to my body being in a constant state of craving fat. The sugar was feeding the Candidiasis, so I was breaking out. I also developed a yeast-like rash around my mouth, stemming from the Candidiasis. It was obviously sugar dependent, because when I began watching my sugar intake, the slightest amount would set the rash off. It was completely painful, lasted for a few months, and I felt gross.

How did I rid myself of this traumatic dysfunction?

Animal foods. Straight up, organic grass-fed meats, cheeses, raw milk, cream, butter, yogurt ~ All from local farmers in my area. The necessary teachers happened to enter my life at the perfect time, when I was really down on my condition and feeling at the lowest with my health. They shared with me the knowledge of how  how vital animal foods are to our health. What I really learned, was how our bodies thrive on fat ~ Saturated fat and cholesterol. Our brains are dependent on fat… Our hormones are dependent on fat! The statement that our health begins in our gut is the complete truth. If we are distressed in our intestines, we see distress manifest elsewhere in our health. I am a perfect example of this. Beginning to eat animal foods really set me on my path to healing and led to the most sustainable positive changes in my health. I didn’t see any changes in my conditions immediately upon beginning to eat animal foods, but the past six months have brought me to where I am now ~ In radiant health. I also cut the consumption of sugar fully. This brought immediate results. Nothing too significant, but I saw changes from that right away in that the rash around my mouth disappeared quickly and the intensity of the breakouts decreased.

This process has been going on over the past couple years, culminating at its worst point this winter. Where I stand now, I am cured. My digestive system is functionally normally again, my acne is just about all gone, and my Candidiasis is cured. I feel vibrant and beautiful. My self-esteem has heightened once again, and life feels back on track. It really amazed me how distraught I felt in so many walks of life, all simply because my health felt out of wack. I was spending so much time attempting to heal and feel sorry for myself, that I couldn’t focus on what I love and bask in the glory of life. I was lacking the confidence I was otherwise so accustomed to having plenty of, so I really wasn’t putting my all into the projects in my life.

I share this story because I know my old condition is affecting a sea of people out there in a similar way. I gained knowledge through this experience. I conquered the battle and am up, over the hill. It happened to me for a reason, and part of that is to spread the awareness. I want to share this knowledge and information with the public in hopes that others will benefit from it in one way or another. Candidiasis is an epidemic, and I want to help people. Acne isn’t something people are damned with for life and can never get rid of it. I want everyone to know that there is a cure ~ And it starts in our gut.

I will forever rely on my skin as my mirror of my health.

Skin Re-Visited pt. 1

For those of you who follow my blog, you may remember a previous post from this past Winter that I wrote, sharing a bit about my skin troubles. In case you missed that entry, I will share a little  history of my skin story with you, before delving into my current status of clear skin

Growing up, I never really dealt with any severe skin issues. Aside from the minor pimples here and there that are inevitably going to accompany hormonal changes, I always had very clear skin. As I became more focused on my health and healing, I struck an interest in the raw food diet. I decided to convert to eating strictly raw foods. I followed this path for quite some time, before negative health conditions began to surface. My digestive system was failing, I was constantly fatigued, and appeared severely malnourished. I was terribly orthorexic, and would embark on full-on fasts way too often. I was beating myself up unconsciously, and it began to show in my physical appearance.

That is when I became plagued with skin troubles. It came in a few forms, but it began with acne. I started having severe breakouts. They were constant, consistent, and unbearable. It didn’t start slowly, either. The breakouts came full force, in excess all along my forehead, and scattered across other parts of my face. I was totally blown away. How could eating such a clean diet, drinking pure spring water, and detoxing so frequently result in horrific skin issues?

I tried a million things. I did several liver flushes (more fasting…), consumed several dozen different herbs on a regular basis that are said to treat acne, used progesterone cream directly on my face, experimented with multiple skin cleansers, masks, etc, etc etc. The list goes on. Nothing worked. Not even a little bit. I was fooled momentarily, when my progesterone cream seemed to provide a slight improvement but then my skin went back to a state of distress a week later. What was going to improve my skin? I thought I tried everything.

I always loved David Wolfe’s line about people claiming to have “tried everything”. I’ve heard him repeat on countless occasions, upon asking clients what they have tried so far to treat their ailment and they respond with, “I’ve tried everything” ~ He always associates that with not having tried anything! It is true. There is a way to treat everything, it just takes coming across the right Source and information.

I was not prepared to accept this challenge with my skin as a reality. Acne is not something a person is born with and should have to deal with for the rest of their lives. I knew there was something that I could do to fix it, it just meant doing some detective working and really looking into my body. Then, I remembered someone telling me how our skin is a mirror of the condition our insides. I realized this challenge was something that needed to be treated from the inside, out. I was treated my skin troubles strictly externally. So, I set me research off on a new course. I was going to work from the inside out. What exactly was it that was plaguing my insides?

What it was, and what really wound up facilitating my healing, totally shifted my understanding of health.

Stay tuned! Part 2 of this story will be shared later this week

Triple Goddess

The Triple Goddess ~ In Paganism and Goddess Worship, refers to the idea of the three separate feminine figures ~ Maiden, Mother, and Crone (elder) ~  Being united. These three figures represent the different stages of the female life cycle. The Triple Goddess is both an idea, and a symbol, as pictured below.

As you can see, the symbol also represents the different phases of the Moon ~ Waxing, Full, and Waning. These phases also correlate with the stages of a Woman’s life cycle. Waxing to Maiden, Full to Mother, Waning to Crone. As the waxing phase of the Moon symbolizes new beginnings, so does the Maiden stage of our lives. We are coming into our selves as Maiden’s ~ Beginning our lives as youth, enchanted by life and its promise… Growing, birthing ideas, and learning. The Full Moon and the Mother stage identify with one another in their fullness. In the motherly stage, we are coming into our power ~ Ripe and full with fertility, sexuality, and wholeness. The Full Moon is full of life, just as Mother’s are. Full Moon is ovulation time, which also correlates with our Motherly aspects, as that is our most fertile time in our cycles. The Waning Moon represents the Crone, or Wise One, in that it is approaching the death of the Moon (New Moon, when the sky is dark) as the Crone is approaching the latter of her life cycle. Both the Crone and the Waning Moon symbolize wisdom and experience ~ They have been around the block and are old with knowledge. The Triple Goddess is also said to represent the female fertility/reproductive cycle, in that the Maiden stage we are coming into our sexuality, as Mothers we go through the process of pregnancy, and as Crone’s we are caring for the young.

The Triple Goddess is an embodiment of unity, an all encompassing view of the potentiality in Women of all kinds. This idea is also viewed by some as an archetype, each phase representing an actual Goddess deity. Various worships identify different Goddesses with each stage/phase of the Triple Goddess. I have commonly heard that Artemis, the virgin Goddess of independence, youth, and fruitfulness as been identified with the Maiden stage of the Triple Goddess. Aphrodite, the Goddess of love, fertility, desire, and beauty has been said to represent the Mother stage of the Triple Goddess. As for the Crone of the Triple Goddess, she is said to be Hecate, the Goddess of strength, wisdom, and darkness. Those three Goddesses are a few of the main Greek Power Goddesses, and it makes sense that they align with the Power symbol of the Triple Goddess.

Triple Goddess is an idea and symbol to embody as Women, and be conscious of during our life cycles, for we are the living Triple Goddess. She is our creation, our core, and our death ~ Aligning with our Power Source, Mother Moon. The Triple Goddess is a reminder to me of the cyclic nature of the Feminine.

Everything in our lives seems to be a cycle. Our menstruation, to ovulation, to menstruation ~ Blood likened to the darkness of the New Moon, wombs full like that of the Full Moon ~ Waxing and Waning with emotional and physical changes in between. We come into our sexuality, are ripe with fertility, and then spiral into menopause as elders. Our emotions fluctuate like a roller coaster ~ Eyes decorated with tears one day (or minute) and then bright with joy, the next. We flow in phases and are synced with the Moon ~ Ever-changing and swelling with Power. I love the Triple Goddess symbol, because it is a perfect embodiment of us Women ~ Our stages in life and phases in this life, all encompassed by our protector ~ The Moon.

The Triple Goddess is a charged Source of energy. She is you, as you is she. The full cycle of our ebbing points of being.

A Taste of My Mission

It slipped my mind to post this interview I did about a month ago with my lovely friends the Lindenschmidts, of Rite Food and Company and The Sweet Peas Podcast. They host a wonderful, informational, weekly podcast where they interview various people about topics which they are passionate about, or about their background in the work they do. They have hosted quite the array of powerfully intriguing people in the past year, since they began! You can find their podcasts at http://www.ritefoodandcompany.com/Podcast/index.html

Lisa-Marie and Mo interviewed me about the mission behind my business ~ Gaia Scouts, plans and direction I have, future events, and some questions about topics around Women’s well-being. They are such a fun bunch and I loved doing the interview with them. Check it out!

http://www.ritefoodandcompany.com/Podcast/episode-050.mp3

Enjoy!

Body Patterns

Currently, I am in the final week of my training in massage therapy. Yes, I am totally stoked! The culmination of the years work is extremely gratifying, and I am excited to embark on adventures and in projects I have had waiting to greet me upon my completion of the training.

One of the main pieces of knowledge I have taken away from the program, is how strongly emotions manifest as physical ailments within our bodies. Of course, there are the times when there is an actual physical accident that takes place, leaving someone damaged ~ However, even then, our bodies identify emotions to that pain and attach to it. What emotions surfaced during that accident? How did your life change and how did it make you feel? Those feelings saturate themselves into those tissues in pain and we become immune to the equilibrium that we once maintained in that area. What I am really talking about here, is the tension we carry ~ And we all have it. Life isn’t constantly flowing perfectly, and negative emotions do come up, at times. Not only that, but we all have our own stories. Of course, plenty of beautiful stories, but also stories of pain. Painful history can contribute to uncomfortable body patterns. Where do they manifest for you?

Where we feel tightness, tension, pain ~ An emotion is related to that area of sensitivity. Many carry stress in their shoulders, with the abundance of computer usage in society’s workplace, today. Perhaps, someone may have a broken heart, or feel emotionally vulnerable ~ So, their shoulders might hunch over in a subconscious attempt to protect their heart, leading to upper back and shoulder pain.

The stress we carry in our physical bodies is more obvious for some than for others. When someone is tuned into the function of their body, and know when it is most balanced ~ That person will notice when something is awry in their physicality at a more rapid pace, whereas someone who is not in touch with their being may easily slip into an uncomfortable pattern, identify with it, and allow it to encompass them without even really noticing it.

It is great to have a trained bodyworker facilitate the healing of tension in your body for you, but you can read into the area of aggravation to a certain extent on your own. Where is a place that you carry stress? Tension? Sensitivity? Massage the area that is in pain, or feels tight. How do you feel when that area is touched? What emotions come up for you? Anger, grief, vulnerability, sickness? What story or emotional pattern in your life can you correlate with that emotion? Maybe that story has something to do with the tension pattern that has generated within you.

Bodyworkers are intuitively trained to map out these areas of tension in a persons body, so we are excellent resources of support in this process of healing. We work to release the tension with our massage techniques, and hold the space for potential emotions to spill out and evaporate into the cosmos. Those emotions are not always negative, either. Sometimes, a whole roller coaster of emotions can be stored in one area ~ Happiness, laughter, tears, sadness, joy ~ All at once.

For me, a history of emotions have been stored in my wrist in the manifestation of a (ganglion) cyst. A cyst is a calcification filled with synovial fluid (joint fluid) on a joint, and looks like a little marble under your skin. I have had this for six years, and it wasn’t until recently that I began to uncover the emotions that are attached to the pain ~ And let me tell you, it is freaking loaded with emotion. The pain became debilitating at times this year, beginning to affect my work as a massage therapist, my practice of yoga, heavy lifting, and much more. The pain frustrates me. Thus, I have embarked on a journey of healing this area of tension, slowing peeling back the layers of emotion through tears, sickness, laughter, anger, sadness (yes all of those emotions have come up in my process of healing it) ~ With each layer, learning more of the story behind it and more about my personal story. I look forward to the day I am fully healed ~ I know there will be huge revelation when that day comes.

I share this not to imply negativity, but to bring awareness to what happens in our physical bodies in relation to our emotional bodies. They is much more interconnected within us than some are conscious of. I share this information to assist in your healing process. The ability to identify your emotions with a physical body pattern is worth millions. It gets you a step ahead in the healing process every time, knowing that the pain may be emotions that have been chronically unattended to. It is a process. We all have our own baggage to work with ~ Learning how to lighten our load each day, with each connection, realization, and manifestation. Use this information toward your personal being and tap into what is going on for you. Each healing experience takes us a step forward in life ~ Bringing greater health, happiness, success, and abundance.

You are your own greatest healer.

Journeying

Here I am, back in motion with reality… Grounded into home life after a epically transformational journey.

I just returned from Arizona, where I worked and played at a retreat hosted by a few of my Sisters, out in the desert on magickal land. The retreat is known as Epic Eden Hot Springs (www.epicedenhotsprings.com) Side note: Get to the next Epic Eden retreat if you know what is best for yourself! The next retreat is being held October 6-10, 2010. It is held on powerful land and is guaranteed to be a transformational experience. My visit to Eden was a potent one: Yes, transformational, for lack of a better word. I have been processing the experience, attempting to summarize it verbally, but continue to be at a loss for words in fully encompassing how amazing this experience was. Every moment on the land, surrounded by the beautiful community was pure magick.

If I tried to write a entry going through the whole trip, I would be writing for eternity. I spent ten days on the land of Eden connecting with my long awaited Spirit family, soaking in geothermal hot springs, harvesting wild plant medicine and salt, eating fresh goji berries, sungazing, dancing, celebrating, laughing, crying, and feeling Gaia in all her embrace. Learning more about myself in each passing moment. Eden changed me.

Now I am back, integrating my experience into my reality. There is one experience that I am choosing to share, which stood out for me in particular. While on the land, I spent some time communing with the local medicine. I chose to journey with one medicine, on a special evening accompanied by some family, gathered at the Source of the hot springs. All of the six geothermal hot springs stem off from the same initial source, up on the hill of Eden. Below is a photo of the Divine Source, taken by my friend Sean Stuchen – A phenomenal photographer, he is (www.seanstuchen.com)

Gathered around the Source, we chose to honor it – The element of water, in our ceremony. We gave a focus to the Source, but we also honored all of the elements – Earth, Air, Fire, Water, Ether – Accompanied by the Seven Directions – North, East, South, West, Father Sky Above, Mother Earth Below, and Within. Thanks were given. The space was sacred. Completion of our ceremony led into our journeying. A journey I will never forget.

I was blessed with a vision. A special vision, that correlates deeply with my life. Yes, we went DEEP. My vision represented the six senses, embodied by the Eye of Horus, from Ancient Egyptian Symbology. The Eye of Horus, also known as the Eye of Ra (Sun), is the Ancient Egyptian Symbol for protection and royal power. It is personified by the Goddess Wadjet: The risen one. The Eye of Horus and Wadjet herself, were known to ward off evil. The symbol was used frequently by the Ancient Egyptians in hieroglyphs and painted on various things they wanted to protect. In the Ancient Egyptian measurement system, the Eye Of Horus defined Old Kingdom number one (1) = 1/2 + 1/4 + 1/8 + 1/16 + 1/32 + 1/64. These numbers are the divination of the senses, all encompassed within the Eye of Horus. It is a fractional quantification system to measure parts of a whole.

Above, is a representation of the Eye of Horus itself. I will now explain how the Eye is broken into pieces and the numbers it is associated with. The Eye is its whole, is measured at 1, whole. The piece below the corner of the eye is 1/64, and is associated with the touch. Individually, it represents planting a stick into the ground; A stalk that will take root, deep into the Earth. Earth is touch. The planting is physical contact and touch.

The swirl below the pupil is 1/32, and is taste. It reminds me of a tongue. The swirl is the sprouting of the wheat or grain from the planted stalk, mentioned previously. We eat the planted food, thus… Taste. Touch + Shape = Taste.

The left corner of the eye, the triangular shape on the left side of the pupil is 1/16, representing the ear and hearing and points toward the ear. Sound requires touch and taste; A combination of the lower senses.

The line above the eye, the eyebrow, is 1/8 and is associated with thought. We use our eyebrows to animate our though processes. Eyebrows are close to our third-eye where our consciousness is held. Touch + Taste + Hearing = Thought

The pupil of the eye is 1/4 – You guessed it, it represents sight.

The right corner of the eye, the triangular shape on the right side of the pupil is 1/2. It points to the nose, and represents smell.

How cool, eh? I never enjoyed arithmetic growing up, but this blows my mind because there is so much more being presented with that image that math! Not to mention, it is a totally gorgeous image too!

So, why was the Eye of Horus the center of my vision? Why has it stayed with me, ingrained in my memory bank? Why do I feel totally drawn and connected to the image? It could be the Goddess history that is associated with it, and I am fully into Goddess worship and studies. Perhaps it was calling in of the elements and directions that brought awareness to the senses. We need our senses to connect to the elements and directions. Maybe it was the reminder of interconnectedness that proved clear through my journey in that sensitive state – So very sensitive to all of the senses, I was. The Eye of Horus is an interconnected representation of our sensory function in life. It feels completely inter-dimensional to me – Like some kind of catalyst, or conduit into my Higher Self.

Now, I am feeling totally drawn to studies of the Ancient Egyptians and travel to Egypt. I am interested to see how the Eye of Horus presents itself more in my lifetime; What other interconnected relations surface with that image – What it teaches me.

Eden taught me. She taught me about my being, my relationships, my voice, my passion, my love. She crocheted me deeper into the ever present, deeply weaved community of life which I am forever grateful for. She shared love. That is all it really is anyway, right? It’s all-ways all love

Spring Regeneration

I’m feeling that spring is in full swing at this point! With a few consecutive warm and sunny days up in New England, the renewal of this season has gone into effect. With new seasons, come new chapters in life.

This state of renewal has been flowing strongly through me. Winter seems to be a time of introspection, and boy did I inspect my inner self this winter! Major physical healing, emotional shifting, realization, and over all life transformation took place, for me. With spring at our heels, I feel ready to come out of my winter shell. I having been waking up joyful, to the sun beaming through my window, excited for the adventures to come of the day… and every day certainly is an adventure, it seems! I am awake and prepared for the next phase of this experience and all it has to offer.

I learned something very important this winter, at some point along the emotional roller coaster. I see that there tends to be an image projected at times, or at least there was an image that I attached to at one time or another, promoting that a constant state of bliss, happiness, or joy is the way of life and how we should feel at all times. A kind of fantasy emotional state of being. Maybe it was the teachers whose work I was following previously, or somehow just developed the idea in my head that perpetual bliss was how I should always feel in order to have an abundant, and happy life. Of course, blissful emotion and states of simplistic joy are embraced, welcomed and one of the best feelings in the world – I am not questioning that. Nor am I promoting that a negative attitude or living in a state of anger is normal, or healthy. Really, I came to the realization, that emotions of lower spirits such as a state of melancholy or a surge of anger for whatever reason, are normal. Our emotions ebb and flow like the rolling waves, and are sensitive to the experiences that come up in life.

I somehow cultivated this way of thinking, that if I wasn’t happy all of the time, there was something wrong with me. I wasn’t living my life the way I should be. I was unhealthy. I looked around at people, and moreso teachers whom I admired that seemed to live in these blissful states all of the time. You can imagine the fight that went on between my inner critic and myself, in my head. I was happy (and am very happy, currently) but would experience sorrow, anger, dull emotion, or random gloominess and really resent myself for it. I hated the fact that I wasn’t constantly blissed out, prancing around with a smile on my face. The surges of joy would come and go, and I would always wonder where they went. Why wasn’t I always just purely overjoyed?

Maybe it was the further study of Women, our bodies, and our emotions that brought on this realization, or maybe it was beginning to follow the work of teachers who were more real and open about their emotion. I say, it was probably a combination. Not that I follow the every move of those I study from, but of course we are all influenced by those who teach us on a large scale. My studies of Women, and my experiences with my female teachers kept coming back to the same conclusion: Times of low emotion are just as beneficial as time of higher vibration emotions.

When I found peace with these emotions that I resented myself for experiencing, those surges of bliss became much more frequent and even more intense. Interesting how that works, eh? I made peace with the fact that it is completely natural to experience anger, feel uninspired, or sad. Low times are our teachers. We battle with our emotions and dig up the roots of what brought on those feelings, thus healing ourselves on a deeper level. We are warriors on a quest to heal years, past lives, and the damages done to our earth over hundreds of years. Of course feelings of grief are going to come up, sometimes! Look at what has happened to our world over the years. Our cells are imprinted with the good, and the bad history.

Now, I have learned to embrace the emotions considered to be negative, as much as I do the positive ones. Both have valuable lessons to share with us, bringing forth growth and greater happiness in the long run. The bliss is ever greater, the love ever stronger, and the life ever better!

Feeling gratitude for it all – good and “bad” feelings, and the new chapter I have begun on this path.

Our Primal Scents

Body odor – Or so our scents are classified as, generally, these days. I would rather refer to these odorous chemicals as, our pheromones; Rightfully so, as that is what they are.

Pheromones are secreted/excreted chemical factors that trigger a response in members of the same species. We all react to the smell of another, through some kind of judgement (attraction, disgust, curiosity, etc.) correct? These chemicals, pheromones, act outside of the body of the secreting individual provoking a behavioral response in the receiver. By the receiver, I mean, the person in contact with whom is secreting pheromones. Here are the derivatives of the word, pheromone: Pherein (to transport) and hormone (to stimulate). Transporting stimuli is exactly what they are!

There are several kinds of pheromones which we produce. One is the alarm pheromone, which only some species secrete upon being attacked. Many are aware of the polyphenols in plants called tannins, which are released upon their consumption by another species. The tannins bind the proteins and amino acids in the plant, causing them to be indigestible by us. Well, you could guess it… These tannins are the plants alarm pheromones! Could it be, perhaps, their attempt at conveying their not wanting to be eaten?! There are several different pheromones produced by species to mark or guard their territories, such as territorial pheromones, aggregation pheromones, and information pheromones.

Here is the juicy one – What this post is all about… The Sex pheromones. We both secrete them; Women and Men. They aid in our attracting one another, as well as the function of the female reproductive system. A wild study was done by researchers in Philadelphia, in which extracted male pheromones were taped to the upper lip of several Women. All of their menstrual cycles regulated. Who knew… The masculine scent can aid in our hormonal regularity! At the University of Pennsylvania School of Medicine, their studies showed that Women who had sex with Men at least once a week, had more regulated cycles, had higher fertility rates, and milder menopausal symptoms in comparison to Women who rarely had sex.

I chart my menstrual cycle daily, tracking the each day individually, while calculating my fertility. I have spoken previously about how I was without my cycle for quite sometime. Well, since I have had it back with pretty exact regularity, I took note of something interesting potentially taking place. I read the study above, about male pheromones influencing Women’s cycles. Aside from one month since November, I have had a regulated cycle while I have also been spending time with the same man every two weeks, relatively. Our visits always land when I am ovulating, or when I am menstruating. Could our regular time together, and his potent pheromones have influenced the regulating of my cycle? Well, among other things, I think it may have played a role! Making this connection, that could perhaps be influencing my hormone balance was really cool!

It is interesting to me, the way that Women tend to try and cover up their pheromones. I can understand why, I suppose, for our odors tend to be categorized as body hair is, in society: Dirty. If someone has an odor to them, generally they are thought to be “smelly” or “dirty”. Yes, there is a difference between not showering and actually being dirty, and the natural pheromones we produce all day long, even after showering. Personally, I love the smell my body secretes. It is a natural secretion from my temple! Don’t get me wrong, I enjoy complimenting my own scents with fragrant essential oils. However, perfumes? Really?! Most perfumes are composed of dozens of toxic, xeno-estrogenic, chemicals and even a bit smells like too much. How about encouraging your own beautiful scent with natural oils instead?

Quick aside – Knowing this information about our pheromone secretions, I pay attention to when my scents are strongest or the changes that they make. I have found that when I am around the Man that I am attracted to, my body secretes a very potent scent which he always seems to notice. Am I calling in the sexual exchange? On a day-to basis without seeing him, my pheromones are extremely tame, and almost non-existent! Wow! Another time when my pheromones are strong, is when I spend time around powerful Women, high with feminine energy. The higher the energy is amongst us, the more potent the smells are! One time in particular, after at Women’s empowerment event that was completely full-on, I left feeling really grounded in my sexual feminine nature and my pheromones were totally over the top! Like, seriously… So potent. It blew my mind, making it so obvious what kind of energies and environments influence the secretion of our “sex scents”.

Majority of Men I have spoken to about the smells Women produce, absolutely love it! They think the smells are sexy… Maybe because they are sex hormones being transported to the male, via scent? I’d say so! I must say, a man with his intoxicating pheromones radiating off of him is freaking HOT! I mean, come on… Their primal scents actually aid our hormonal health. SWEET! Talk about the right reasons to embrace the Divine Masculine!

Anyway, I thought it important to share my thoughts and research on this amazing chemical exchange we have between sexes. We actually draw one another through our bodily scents. How primal